Shadow Boxing
by Dr-J33
Summary: Chrom discovers the definition of insanity thanks to Robin's stupid reeking boxes.


Chrom wiped the sweat off his brow as he watched the last Risen in the area dissolve into darkness.

"Thats all of them Milord." Said Fredrick. "The area is safe once more."

"Good." Said Chrom. "Now let us head back to the Barracks and-"

Without warning a bolt of lightning hit the ground and a number of Risen appeared.

"More of them!" Said Chrom. "Shepards to battle!"

With Falchion raised Chrom led the Shepards into battle.

* * *

Lon'qu beheaded the final Risen as Chrom watched from a distance.

"Well done Lon'qu!" Said Chrom.

"Thats all of them Milord." Said Fredrick. "The area is safe once more."

"Good, everyone should be exhausted by now so lets-"

At that moment Chrom saw Robin open a box. A lightning bolt flew out of the box, hit the ground, and made more Risen appear.

"ROBIN?!"

"What Chrom?"

"D-Did you just summon more Risen!?"

"Yeah, We need to make our troops stronger before the next mission and this is the best way to-"

"H-How are you even doing this?!" Asked Chrom.

"Reeking boxes." Said Robin.

He gestured to the empty box in his arms.

"These things summon risen and they're cheap too."

"You buy these infernal things?!" Asked Chrom. "WITH OUR BUDGET!?"

"Its good training." Said Robin. "Plus the Risen can't leave the area, and even then this place has been abandoned for awhile. So no risk of them attacking Civilians."

"I appreciate the consideration for Civilians." Said Chrom. "But our soldiers are tiring out, you can't expect them to fight the Risen three times in a-"

"Actually the Vaike doesn't mind." Said Vaike as he flung a hand axe at a Risen archer. "I can go another couple rounds with these guys."

"I'm not complaining." Said Sully.

"I'm fine with this." Said Lissa.

"I wanted to work on my sword skills anyways." Added Stahl.

"I have a problem with this." Said Kellam. "Uh... Hello?"

"Fine, we'll fight." Said Chrom.

Chrom whistled and in a matter of seconds Sumia landed her pegasus on the ground and let Chrom on. Chrom raised his Rapier and pointed at the Risen.

"Shepards! To battle!"

Chrom once again led the charge towards the Risen.

* * *

Sumia and Cordelia were stabbing the last Risen to death with their lances as Chrom watched from a distance.

"That was exhausting." Said Chrom.

"Thats all of them Milord." Said Fredrick. "The area is safe once more."

"Fredrick you don't have to tell me this every time-"

Another lightning bolt hit the ground and more Risen were summoned.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Chrom looked at Robin, who had an empty Reeking box in his arms.

"Robin!"

"Sorry, but we have some troops who nearly mastered their classes." Said Robin.

Chrom groaned.

"Fine but this is the last time!"

"Today." Said Robin.

"We'll discuss that later."

Chrom drew Falchion with one hand and his Rapier with the other.

"Shepards... Just kill the Risen!"

Chrom slowly and unenthusiastically led the charge against the Risen again.

* * *

Ricken and Stahl were roasting marshmallows over the burning remains of a Risen as Chrom nonchalantly impaled the broken hilt of his rapier into the last remaining Risen.

"Finally done..."

"Thats all of them Milord." Said Fredrick. "The are-"

"FOR NAGA'S SAKE FREDRICK! I HAVE EYES!"

"... You don't have to be such a dick about it milord."

Chrom groaned and walked away from the battlefield when another lightning bolt hit the ground and more Risen appeared. Chrom slowly turned his gaze towards Robin, his eyes filled with malice and hatred.

"That one wasn't me." Said Robin

Robin Gestured towards Vaike, who held an empty Reeking box in his arms.

"The Vaike could go one more round." Said Vaike.

"Robin I'm burning those boxes when we get back."

Lissa limped towards Chrom and Robin.

"Chroooom... I'm tired... I can't fight anymore today..."

Robin noticed that several other shepards were in no condition to fight.

"Sit this one out Lissa." Said Robin. "Maribelle!"

Maribell was sitting on her horse knitting. She looked up from her craft at Robin.

"We need a healer! You're in!"

"FINALLY!"

Maribelle tossed her knitting project to the side and pulled out a staff before riding towards the others.

"One more time?" Asked Robin as he looked at Chrom.

Chrom glared at Robin, drew Falchion and handed the sword to Robin.

"You lead it then, I'm sitting this one out..."

Chrom trudged over to a nearby rock and sat down.

"Uh, I have a sword." Said Robin. "And I can't even use this thing!"

"Robin!"

Donnel ran over to Robin and saluted.

"Ah'm ready to go chief!" Said Donnel. "Where do ya want me?"

"Donnel." Robin began. "You're not ready. You'll never be ready until you can actually hit something with your spear."

"B-but-"

"Leave the fighting for people who can actually last more than three turns without getting seriously injured."

Donnel lowered his head and sadly walked away.

"Alright then." Said Robin.

Robin pointed Falchion at the Risen.

"Shepards! Transform and- Wait I mean attack!"

The shepards unenthusiastically walked towards the Risen, tired of repeatedly fighting the Risen.

* * *

Robin bludgeoned the final Risen to death with Falchion, unable to actually cut it with the sword due to Robin himself being "unworthy" to wield the blade. With the Risen dead he dragged the sword over to Chrom and set it on the ground.

"Done."

Fredrick approached the pair and opened his mouth to speak, but Chrom interrupted him.

"Fredrick if you shut up I'll let you burn the Reeking boxes."

Fredrick shut his mouth and nodded.

"Remind me to have those boxes banned..." Said Chrom.

"Lets get out of here." Said Robin. "Theres no way we can have another battle today. Everyone is in no condition to fight."

Robin looked at Maribelle, who was being hauled away on a stretcher by Lissa and Miriel, having been taken down within the first ten seconds of the battle.

"Good." Said Chrom. "Its late, I'm tired and hungry, and my rapier broke."

"I'll get you a new one." Said Robin as him and Chrom walked away from the battlefield together.

"Just don't name it again." Said Chrom.

Robin didn't notice a reeking box fall out of his coat onto the ground. Donnel saw it as he was leaving and stopped. Making sure nobody was watching Donnel picked it up off the ground and hid it under his pot helmet before running to catch up with the others.


End file.
